Thoughts

Its 5am and I’ve been up for an hour. Crazy dreams and my yorkie barking is the reason why. I’ve had floods of thoughts and I need to write them down. I’ve been alive for 42 years and in that time what have I accomplished except sad memories and piles of laundry. I’m sure there are more women like, me standing in their kitchen drinking coffee thinking about memories from 20 years ago. They are not good memories they are just a few of the many haunting memories I seem to hold on to. I wonder how does one move on from regrets and mistakes? Why do I cling to them? What is it that I want to happen? I consider they are instances with no closure. I wonder why else would they continue to linger? These memories are not bad they are just unfinished. A moment that happened then ended, empty. I consider taking steps to possibly close them but all I would do is open another set of to soon be memories that would probably be unfinished also. I think to myself if more then one person is involved, then am I the only one haunted by these moments? I was told when I was a young girl if I write my thoughts down they would get out of my head. I don’t believe this because when I write them down I have to read them over again.